Students walk the dangerous, bustling hallways. Photos by Gwen Pitts

**Satire** Speeding in the Hallways

BVN enforces rules to keep the hallways safe from crazy walkers

For years, the troublesome issue of passing period chaos has pervaded the hallways. As students continue to stumble on backpacks and trip over each other, the administration has started to enforce new rules in the hallways.

“Inattentiveness, talking, texting on the phone… I see that in the hallway all the time,” Jimmy Green* said.

“There is definitely a lot more traffic going both ways, and it is sort of like an airport,” freshman Jonah Pellegrino said.

Pellegrino is a new student this year coming from a much smaller school.

“The hallways are really dangerous,” Pellegrino said. “I’m scared to leave the classroom.”

Perhaps the way to solve this issue is to apply the rules of the road to the hallways.

“This sounds like a situation where a school hallway safety class or group would be useful [for bringing order to the hallways],” Jimmy Green said.

By educating students on hallway rules, students “would feel a lot safer,” and learning proper walking in the hallways could also translate into safe driving on the road.

But just like on the road, distractions also appear to be an issue in the hallways.

“I’d say no communication and no talking to students [in the hallway is the best way to prevent traffic and injuries]. That way you’re focusing on going straight down the hallway without any distractions,” Green said.

Texting raises the probability of a crash by 23 percent.

“This translates to the hallway,” Green said. By looking at your phone for just five seconds while driving at 55 miles per hour, you cover the length of a football field. Similarly, looking at your phone for just five seconds while walking could take you from the 100 hallway to the 400 hallway.

“There should be special texting zones, maybe by lockers or the media center,” Green said.“It’s sort of like in traffic how you have to pull over and get out of the lane.”

While inattentiveness on foot (or at the wheel) is still a problem that is in the midst of being solved, speed limits are already being established in the hallways. Not only are maximum speeds being watched, but minimum speeds are, too. Speeding could result in injury or an accident, and failure to reach the speed limit could create serious traffic preventing others from getting to class.

“We haven’t caught any slow walkers this year, but teachers sure have because of tardys,” Green said.

The speed limit plans will be implemented starting next year when speed limits will be posted in each hallway. Failure to follow the rules will result in an immediate referral, and texting will result in the confiscation of students’ phones.

Things have gotten out of control in hallways and more serious dangers have come about. Rear end accidents, just like on the raods cause major pile-ups and increase traffic.

A major cause of these seroius accidents are from texting while walking.

“I watched someone walk right into a wall while texting,” Pellegrino said. “I see accidents all the time.”

For these reasons, many rules of the road are being implemented in school.

“You can’t have different rules because people won’t pay attention to it. Rules have to stay constant in the hallways, just like they are on the road,” Green said.

- Michael Paul

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